I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of constantly living like this. All I do is argue with my mom about everything. I take it all out on her because I know she’ll always be there. I take out all the pain and anger I have about my dad out on her. But I’m sick of her always saying the fighting is my fault. I’m always the one to apologize and I never get one from her. I’m tired of it. She always makes the snide remarks that reminds me that my dad could care less about me. I don’t need constant reminders from her that he treats my stepmom and half brother better than me. You’d think she’d stop by now after I’ve voiced many fucking times that it hurts me.
Then there’s the whole changing the subject when we’re arguing. She changes it to something completely different that I did that ‘hurt’ her. Well first of all she twisted my fucking words. I’m sorry that I’m not fucking moving with you because you got a different job. This is my home. Everyone I’ve ever known lives here. I’ve barely gotten over the fact that I have to leave home for college and now you spring the whole fact that I have no home to come back to when I’m on break from college.
My dads isn’t my home and wherever the fuck you’re going isn’t my home. I never said that I would never come and visit, I said wouldn’t come that often. Because first of all, how am I going to get there? I have no car, I’m not fucking walking there. And second, everyone I fucking know lives here. Sorry, but I’m not going out there every fucking weekend.
I know I sound selfish. Because I want you to take this job, I know it’s a good opportunity for you. If you didn’t twist my words and make me sound like douche all the time, I’d be better.
People
I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I’m not good enough. I’m not good enough for my family or the friends who keep coming and going out of my life. I’m tired of it. I wish I could find one good friend out there who will always be there for me. Every time I turn around, another friend is walking out of my life. Am I really that horrible of a person?
La Jolla Sunset
Free
Finally a place for me to say whatever I want without worrying about people I know seeing it. There’s so much I’ve held in and finally I can express myself. Join me on my quest to freedom.
